Man on Man Action: Penal Manipulation - Is There A Way To Rehabilitate Prisoners Effectively Without Requiring Prisons?

Preface: Rollo and I were enjoying a little political sparring today in between comparing the relative sizes of our girlfriends' vaginas. In one short second, both Rollo, the lunatic leftwing Democrat of the group, and myself, the middle of the road Amerocrat agreed on something.

The current prison system is tired, abused, and not working anymore - sort of like Keyser's mom. The idea behind the prison system in America, before we started jailing people for being of a slightly different color or perhaps carrying a Koran and/or a pipebomb strapped to his grundle, was to take those with questionable behaviors and teach them the wonders of being an effective member of society -- someone Democrats could wring a little more tax money out of to pay for late term abortions, no doubt -- but it WAS a noble cause.

Prison was supposed to be more than a "time-out" for adults. It was supposed to be a place to install a basic moral foundation. It was supposed to be a place where a societal deviant could learn a basic trade or earn a degree from an accredited program. Though more than that, it was to be a place where a convict could have the time to reflect on how their actions did not fit with society without the fear of not being able to afford food, clothing, shelter, and DirectTV.

The death penalty is not enough. Republicans think of jail as punishment. Democrats think of jail as an adult boarding school that should have internet access, voting terminals, sushi restaurants, and unlimited gay sex. There will never be a middle ground between the "Kill them before they become the next Islamic House Representative" and the "Let them free and with a taste for man sex" groups.

This is where our wonderful cross party solution can fit in between like the Ru Paul middle of a kinky bologna sandwich. Yes, Democrats, the bread is organic.